I Would Rather Blank Than Lose To The Hawks....

I don’t know how to tell you this – I’m kind of a Big Deal. 

Hawkeye week has pulled me out of hiatus and my blog has officially crossed the 10,000 hits mark.  During Iowa Hawkeye week I typically post the I would rather blank than lose to the Hawks. 

They pick it up early. 

I would rather hear more nonstop blabber about Tom Brady and deflate gate for two more months than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather eat a bowl of soup with chards of glass in it than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather wipe with poison Ivy toilet paper than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather have 76 family members whining for one whole year about bad calls than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather have meatless tailgates for the rest of the year than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather ask the cashier where they keep the petite sized condoms than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather grow a rat tail than lose to the Hawks.

The Official ISU Super Fan !!!
Wearing Cyclone Red !

I would rather lick an umbrella after an acid rain than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather be continuously be hit in the shin by a wiffle ball bat wielding midget than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather play Jonas Brothers music only for my next tailgate than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather be forced to say “Toddles”, every time I leave  for a year than lose to the Hawks.   

I would rather wear Oprah’s panties on my head for a month than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather intentionally brush my teeth with anti-itch vaginal cream than lose to the Hawks.

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