In honor of the Monday night football game and the replacement refs that called the game.   In case you haven’t seen the play the Green Bay Packers were officially jobbed by the replacement refs and I honestly haven’t seen anything this funny in a long while.   I’ve included the clip for those beside Terri from Ames who haven’t seen the replay.  USA Today estimated that $500 million wagers changed hands because of the call.   Anyway, I’ve decided to ask for a backup and replacement blogger for this week’s breakdown of this week upcoming college football weekend and a preview of the Iowa State versus Texas Tech game.

This week’s upcoming football matches are quite exhilarating.   There are only two top 25 head to head athletic event matches this weekend.   The #25 Baylor Pandas and the #9 West Virginia Bluffclimbers additionally #14 Ohio State Buckaneers and #20 Michigan State Condom Heads.

Don't go away mad
Just go away Michigan

This week Notre Dame broke up with Michigan.   Notre Dame the self-proclaimed homecoming queen decided that Michigan has gained weight and doesn’t take them to the same swanky parties that Notre Dame is so accustomed to attending.  Or perhaps Michigan just sucks as much as the auto market.   None the less Notre Dame has kicked Michigan to the curb.

Oregon State is off to the biggest surprise of the year.   Their first game of the season was postponed due to weather.  Then they went on to wallup two ranked teams: #13 Wisconsin, and #19 UCLA.   Let’s give a little handy to the Beaver fans out there.

 

This week’s football match between The Iowa State Cyclones (Woo Hoo) take on the Texas Tech Longhorns.  I was told that Steele Jantz from Iowa State has 6 touchdowns, 4 turnovers with 731 yards.   While the Longhorns Quarterback man has 12 touchdowns, 1 turnover and 858 yards.   I don’t know what this means exactly but it sounds important.

Texas Tech and Iowa State are two of the only 4 unranked football teams in the conference of The Big XII.  It has been suggested that whomever wins thy game may be ranked on the Top 25 on Monday. 

I read Iowa State current is ranked 93 in turnover category.   Texas Tech is currently averaging 50+ points per game thru the first three contests.   Expect another 55k plus in attendance for a 6 pm kickoff and expect the Cyclones to Pack The Jack.   This will prove to be a most exhilerating football game match.   If the Cyclon-ees win expect a repeat.

 Thank you to this weeks Replacement Blogger:

Sports Talk with The Commissioner

Commissioner:  We have Jack, A.K.A “Super Fan” on the line from Brooklyn Park.
Jack: Commissioner, since Iowa State has started 3-0 for the second straight year.   What do you think are the odds that the Cyclones will go 12-0 in 2012? 

Commissioner:  Wrong! About      -500%.   I appreciate your confidence and hutzpah Super Fan, however, The Big XII ranks as one of the toughest football conferences in the county with 5 teams currently ranked in the top 20, and currently has 3 Heisman Trophy canidates.   However, after starting 3-0 last year, and reaching a bowl game.   A 3-0 start puts the Cyclones ahead of where I had them slated before the season started, and Iowa State may be on the way to another bowl game.   Next up: Texas Tech will prove to be a true measuring stick.  Win and I’ll be all a grin, lose and we’ll be in the booze.

Commissioner: We have Mike on the line from Johnston.  

Mike: Commissioner, how do you feel the Iowa State defense has played this year?

Commissioner:  Great question Magic Mike.  But, Wrong!   Iowa State’s defense is currently ranked 13^th nationally in the ESPN defensive rankings.   ISU has two outstanding linebackers and secondary that has shown some impressive ability.   However, the untold secret to the Cyclone’s defense is the play of Kirby Van Der Kamp the ISU punter.   So far this season, 13 of Van Der Kamp’s punts have landed inside the 20-yard line.  A 59 yard punt in the second quarter against Western Illinois was Van Der Kamp’s long on the year.  The guy has 19 punts this season. Not a single one of them has been returned by an opponent.  That’s enough to get even a lesbian tailgater excited to give Van Der Kamp a pedicure.

Commissioner: We have Terri on the line from Ames.

Terri: Commissioner, did you see that the Iowa State Women’s Volleyball team upset the Number 1 ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers volleyball team?

Commissioner: Buffering….Buffering….Wrong, Wrong, Wrong…We must have a poor connection, or perhaps a loose ponytail band.   The Commissioner only enjoys watching volleyball every four years, and only if it is held on a beach by females in very skimpy outfits.   I was glad I caught the score on the Twitter, however I admit it did give me a warm fuzzy only because it was Nebraska.   As for volleyball I get just about as excited as I have while watching that homosexual volleyball scene in Top Gun.  There is 3 minutes and 21 seconds of my life that I could have been watching football.  Out.

Gerry Sandusky
Ravens Announcers

First off, your name could be Gerry Sandusky.   The Gerry Sandusky that is the radio announcer for the Baltimore Ravens.   How would you like to say, “No not the Pedophile from Penn State,” every time you get introduced to someone new.  

Requested by Brian Netten

You could be Mike Markuson, Offensive line coach at Wisconsin that was fired after only two games.  Last year’s Big Ten Champions Wisconsin Badgers were held to 35 yards of rushing and 207 total yards by the Oregon State Beavers last week, and lost 10-7.

 

 

Christmas Pictrue Bo Pelini - Nebraska Head Coach

 

You could be one of the many teams upset in College Football last week.   Upsets: LA-Monroe 34, over (8) Arkansas 31; Oregon State 10 over (13) Wisconsin 7; (22) UCLA 36 over (16) Nebraska 30; (24) Arizona over (18) Oklahoma State 38, 59; Utah State 27 over Utah 20.

You could be the ACC.   This week Notre Dame agreed to commit or get engaged with the Atlantic Coast Conference for all sports except for football.  Make no mistake this indicates a major move of Notre Dame to get associated with a relevant football conference if the need ever arise   "I think it says a lot a program like Notre Dame to want to come and I'm sure they could have their pick of conferences and for them to choose the ACC I think is a great thing," said Clemson's Dabo Swinney. "They're making a commitment to play five conference games even though they won't be a football member right now. For them to make that commitment I think that's very strong. It's exciting, it further secures this conference's strength of schedule and moving forward as we get into the playoff scenarios."

That schedule will provide the Irish the flexibility to continue its traditional games against Big Ten opponents Purdue, Michigan and Michigan State along with their annual series with Navy and Southern California if it chooses. However, the school also plays regular games against Boston College and Stanford, meaning there likely will be some major modifications.

We have monitored the changing conference landscape for many months and have concluded that moving to the ACC is the best course of action for us," Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick said in a statement. "We are able to maintain our historic independence in football, join in the ACC's non-BCS bowl package, and provide a new and extremely competitive home for our other sports."  Translation:  See Ya Big East, I’m going to get engaged with The ACC and sleep around until I absolutely have to share everything I own – including a large television contract. 

 

 

You could be an Iowa Fan: I guess you could call this game an upset last weekend, at least by Vegas standards.   Iowa State Cyclones 9, Iowa Hawkeyes 6.   How does it feel to be upstaged in the so called Hawkeye State? 

Suck It...Iowa Fan. 

 

Your Team name could be the Western Illinois Leathernecks.    Last week: The LeatherNecks had four interceptions on Saturday, two by Martinez Davis who returned one for a touchdown, as the Leathernecks improved to 2-0 following a 27-17 victory over Indianapolis on Saturday (Sept. 8) at Hanson Field.  The WUI secondary, has been hit hard by injuries.  Three defensive backs - Chris Boone, Tyler West and Keith Enderlein, all three, fifth year seniors will be out for the season. Boone and West have suffered knee injuries, while Enderlein, who had an interception against Butler, has suffered the third concussion on his career. This should open up the ability for Iowa State to move the ball against the LeatherNecks.   

Iowa State was an underdog the first two weeks against Tulsa and Iowa but not so fast my friends that won’t be the case this week against the Western Illinois Leathernecks.  In the last two years Iowa State has been an underdog 13 times and has come up 7-6 as an underdog.   The good news is when Iowa State is favored they typically take care of business.   I expect Iowa State to spread the playing time around among many players on the first and second teams.  Iowa State 41-14.

 

Finally your name could be Brian Netten, but you could look like Barry Manilow and sing like that Wong Kid from American Idol. 

 

EnCYcloPETEYah: Iowa State v. Iowa...

Here is the latest entry from the EnCYcloPETEYah:

Hate Week: Iowa v. Iowa State Football Game...

From the outset the game on Saturday looks to be pretty equal on paper.  But, the Hawkeyes are favored by 3.5 for a couple of reasons: the game is played is being played at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City, and because Iowa always gets an extra 2 point edge because of the unwarranted Big X bias. 

There are three major factors in this game:

1.       Defensive line play.   Both Iowa and Iowa State have fairly inexperienced defensive lines, the caliber of a fishing net used by Jesus and his merry men.   Both teams gave up significant defensive rushing yards in their respective games last week.   This could mean long drawn out drives with either defense spending significant time on the field. 

2.       Quarterback play.   Both teams have Senior Quarterbacks directing their offensive units.    Steele Jantz the ISU signal caller directed the Cyclones thru a 3 overtime victory last year at Jack Trice Stadium.   The nod could go to Jantz who looked good in the game against Tulsa, but this is where the Kinnick faithful dawning black and gold will tip the scales toward the Iowa QB James Vandenberg.   Let’s call it a push



New Cy-Hawk Trophy

3.       Turnovers.  I know what you are thinking way to go out on a limb Commissioner, next you’ll say whoever scores the most points is likely to win.   Well it goes without saying the team with the most turnovers typically loses the game.   In the last two games at Kinnick Stadium Iowa has held a 6-2 turnover advantage.  

Both of these clubs are defensively minded.   Both teams like to play close games and typically win close games.   Both clubs are well coached.   This games looks like a tight one.  I’ll call the score: 24-27.   It is too close to call who will win – that way I can claim I knew it either way.  

If the Cyclones win, I’ll be talling the number of times I hear Hawk Fan say, “We need to take Iowa State off the schedule – it does nothing for us.”  If you can't beat them take your ball and go home.

Attached is the new Hawkeye Logo:

I'd Rather Blank Than Lose to the Iowa Hawkeyes...

No major upsets in College football for the first week.   There were a few close games and maybe a close call.   South Carolina 17 Vanderbilt 13; (13) Michigan State 17 (24) Boise State 13; (21) Stanford 20 San Jose State 17; (12) Wisconsin 26 Northern Iowa 21; Iowa 18 Northern Illinois 17.   Three of these close ones come from the Big 10 conference, I’m not sure what that says other than a nice little observation.   Two blow out wins (19) Oklahoma State 84, Savannah State 0; (7) Florida State69, Murray State 3. 

The biggest game of the week was (2) Alabama 41, (8) Michigan 14.   Alabama is definitely rolling with the Tide.  Head Coach Nick Saban has his team on a whole different level of reloading.   Expect Alabama or LSU to play for the national championship again this year.   There are basically four top teams currently in my opinion: Alabama, LSU, Oregon, and USC.  I’m hoping the Big XII can close the gap and become a part of this conversation for national championship.   Expect, Oklahoma or Oklahoma State, and Florida State to be part of the discussion soon later this year.   I'm just not sure they can close the gap as it stands today.

My alma mater The Iowa State Cyclones handled the Tulsa Hurricane quite easily at home after coming from behind in the early part of the second quarter.  Iowa State 38 Tulsa 23.   Next up is the cross state rival Iowa Hawkeyes.   Don’t let the scare for Iowa fans with Northern Illinois be any indication of the outcome for the upcoming game.  The Cyclones haven’t won in Iowa City at Kinnick Stadium since 2002.  

Contrary to the belief of many Iowa Hawkeye fans the talent level between The Iowa Hawkeyes and The Iowa State Cyclones has merged to a closer level over this past decade.   I grew up in Southeast Iowa and many of my closest relatives are Iowa Hawkeye fans including my father and sister.   This has led me to add a new section to the column called: I’d Rather ______ Than Lose to The Iowa Hawkeyes.

 
I’d rather have a Mike Tyson face tattoo than Lose to The Iowa Hawkeyes.

I’d rather go antiquing over a long weekend with Nathan Lane and my mother than Lose to The Iowa Hawkeyes.

I’d rather have hemorrhoids and diarrhea at a tailgate than Lose to the Iowa Hawkeyes.

I’d rather be forced to take a pack of 13 year old girls to a Justin Bieber concert than Lose to the Iowa Hawkeyes.

I'd rather take a shower in a Penn State sanctioned facility than Lose to the Iowa Hawkeyes.

I’d rather stay out in the sun until my outers look like a 3 day old pudding skin than Lose to The Iowa Hawkeyes.

I’d rather be asked by the dentist to chew aluminum foil bubble gum than Lose to the Iowa Hawkeyes.

I’d rather have infantigo on my groin region for a year than Lose to the Iowa Hawkeyes.

I’d rather be asked to have a political debate with a Kardashian than Lose to the Iowa Hawkeyes.

Icon : Squawk By A Hawk App

Check this out: I’m not sure if you have heard, there is a new application for the IPad and IPhones called the Squawk from a Hawk App.   It tracks the number of times you hear any Iowa Hawkeye fan cry before or after an Iowa Football Game.