Commish Interviews "The Super Fan"

Commish: Superfan, we are glad you could take time out of your busy schedule at the fair. I just have a couple of questions for you today. First, what do you think will be the score of the Iowa State versus Kansas game on Saturday?

Superfan: Some might call me a homer, but I'm definitely  going to take the Cyclones by 28.  Mangenius will definitely shake up the offense and air it out.

Commish: WRONG!  It's called homo-er and it is clearly Iowa State by 14. 

Commish: Superfan, is the Iowa State football team as poor as they seem after going 1-2 after the first 3 games? 

Superfan: The Cyclones’ three non-conference opponents have a combined 9-1 record.  Iowa is 4-0, Toledo 3-0, Northern Iowa is 2-1.  One could argue that we were in all of the those games. The Cyclones still rock!  

Commish: WRONG! The Cyclones are still 1-2 and they have virtually no chance of winning another game in the conference and Paul Rhoads will be exiting this season. Look for a new field general for the Cyclones next year. 

Superfan: Here is a little known fact.   The last time that Iowa State won its conference opener it was against Kansas and our current Offensive Coordinator was the Kansas head coach.

Commish: WRONG!  The Kansas Jayhawks are currently 0-3.  And they will by 0-4 and could possibly go 0-fer in the Big XII this year.  These two teams are 9 and 10 in the power rankings of the Big XII.   Thanks, Superfan - we may circle back during the Female Basketball season to get some more edge-rocking Iowa State facts. 

This Might Be The Only Time This Year the Cyclones Could Honestly Use This Sign. 

Cyclone Blueprint for a Bowl Game.

This Video Was So Much Cooler 2 Weeks Ago!

Let's look back on history and review how the Cyclones have become bowl eligible in recent history. I looked back on the last 3 bowl game appearances of the Cyclones. 

In 2012 Iowa State went 6-7.   The Cyclones won all 3 of the Non-Conference games including Iowa. The Cyclones went on to win 3 of their conference games.   In 2012 they beat TCU, Baylor, and Kansas.   Iowa State was invited to the Liberty Bowl and faced Tulsa and lost to the same team that the beat in the opening game of the year.

In 2011 Iowa State went 6-7.   They Cyclones again won all 3 of the Non-Conference games again including Iowa.   They Cyclones under Paul Rhoads also beat conference foes of: Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, and Kansas.  Iowa State was invited to the Pinstripe Bowl and lost to Rutgers.

In 2009 Iowa State went 7-6.   The Cyclones in that year played 4 Non-Conference teams.   This was prior to the new structure of the Big XII and scheduling all teams in the conference.   Iowa State won 3 of the 4 Non-Conference Games that year and lost to Iowa.   They went on to win 3 in conference wins.  Iowa State was victorious over Nebraska, Baylor, and Colorado. Iowa State defeated Minnesota 14-13 to finish the season 7-6.

It appears the recipe for a Bowl Game is 3 Non-Conference Wins and 3 Conference Wins.   Iowa State is currently 1-2 in the Non-Conference Games.   I think we can safely say it is going to be difficult to find 5 more wins in our Conference Schedule.  If we finish our year with 4 wins or less I would suggest and predict that Paul Rhoads is no longer the Iowa State coach at the end of the year.

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/sports/college/iowa-state/randy-peterson/2015/07/19/big-12-conference-football-expansion-impact--iowa-state-cyclones/30392079/

I Would Rather Blank Than Lose To The Hawks....

I don’t know how to tell you this – I’m kind of a Big Deal. 

Hawkeye week has pulled me out of hiatus and my blog has officially crossed the 10,000 hits mark.  During Iowa Hawkeye week I typically post the I would rather blank than lose to the Hawks. 

They pick it up early. 

I would rather hear more nonstop blabber about Tom Brady and deflate gate for two more months than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather eat a bowl of soup with chards of glass in it than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather wipe with poison Ivy toilet paper than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather have 76 family members whining for one whole year about bad calls than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather have meatless tailgates for the rest of the year than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather ask the cashier where they keep the petite sized condoms than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather grow a rat tail than lose to the Hawks.

The Official ISU Super Fan !!!
Wearing Cyclone Red !

I would rather lick an umbrella after an acid rain than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather be continuously be hit in the shin by a wiffle ball bat wielding midget than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather play Jonas Brothers music only for my next tailgate than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather be forced to say “Toddles”, every time I leave  for a year than lose to the Hawks.   

I would rather wear Oprah’s panties on my head for a month than lose to the Hawks.

I would rather intentionally brush my teeth with anti-itch vaginal cream than lose to the Hawks.

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Before

After

Hawkeye Football Jokes.

Q: Why do Hawkeye Football players use body heat activated deodorant? A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree" 

Q: What's the difference between Kinnick Stadium and a cactus? A: The cactus has its pricks on the outside. 

Q: What does the average Iowa Hawkeye get on his SAT? A: Drool. 

Q: If you have a car containing a Hawkeye wide receiver, a Hawkeye linebacker, and a Hawkeye defensive back, who is driving the car? A: The cop.
 Q: What's the difference between an Iowa football player and a dollar? A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar. 

Q: What does a Hawkeye Fan and a bottle of beer have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. 

Q: How do you stop an Iowa fan from beating his wife? A: Dress her in Maize and Blue! 

Q: How do you make Hawkeye cookies? A: Put them in a bowl and beat for three hours.

Q: Why doesn't the Hawkeye football team have a website?  A: They can't string three w's together. 

Q: What do Hawkeye Fans and Cyclone Fans have in common?  Neither graduated from the University of Iowa.