Sports Talk with The Commissioner.

Commissioner: We have Dan from Des Moines on the line.   Go ahead caller.

Dan: Commish, did you hear about the merger of the Mountain West Conference and Conference USA?   What are your thoughts?

Commissioner:  WRONG!  Thanks for the call DAN from DEADmoines.   It is time to drop a knowledge bomb, both conferences are being raided by the Big East, Big XII, and ACC.  This is a preemptive  move by both conferences to stay relevant, and in addition to make a bid to become BCS bowl worthy.   The merger makes this Mountain USA a 22 school football conference.  Most likely they are going to be raided and their conference will end up with 16-18 schools.    However, don’t expect the BCS to cough up another bid to the Mount USA.  We’ll see how long this lasts, when college kids are forced to travel over numerous time zones to play football.  Bomb.  Click.

Commissioner:   We have Christopher from Ankeny.  Go ahead caller.

Christopher:  The Big Ten has 5 teams in the Top 25 rankings.   Which conference is stronger Big Ten or the Big XII?

Commissioner:  WRONG!  We haven’t met Chrissy, but you sound like a pretty boy metrosexual that has a man crush on the Big Ten as much as you do for Justin Timberlake.  The Big XII has five teams in the top 25 as well.  The other team in the Big XII that feel out of the rankings this week was: Baylor.  When you have a strong football conference teams have to beat up on each other.  There are only two games that matter this year.   November 5th when LSU travels to Alabama (SEC Conference), and December 3rd when Oklahoma travels to Oklahoma State (Big XII Conference).   The winners of these two game will likely be playing for the national championship.  Sorry Wisconsin, Clemson, Boise State, and Stanford you’re as out of place as that murse (Man Purse) that you use to carry your personal items.   Click.

Commissioner:  We have Tom from Texas on the line.   Go ahead caller.

Tom: Commish, What do you think about all the traditional match ups going down the tubes because of conference realignment?   What about the loss of the Texas A&M and University of Texas yearly match up.

Commissioner:  WRONG!  Texas sent Texas A&M an email this week stating their schedule is full through 2018.  So, Texas and A&M won’t be playing any time soon.   This is the equivalent of breaking up over text message.   They are both acting like little kids.   If I was Commissioner of the Big XII, they would both be put in time out and made to sit on the stairs.  Conference realignment has to do with money and televisions.   That’s it.  I expect schools to vote on providing a stipend for football athletes in the next couple years.   That will be the next step to making the NCAA officially become the minor league for the NFL.  All of the former traditions and rivalries are irrelevant.  TVs and the associated money is all that matters.  New Rivalries will eventually emerge.  Click.   

Commissioner: We have Teri from Ames on the line.  Go ahead caller.

Terri: What time is the Iowa State Game on Saturday?  Woo Hoo, GO Cyclones.

Commissioner:  WRONG!   WRONG!  WRONG!  I don’t have time to answer your blond questions, we have serious issues to consider in college football right now.   First we have this wonderful tool called the Interweb.   The Game Times is 2:30 Which I found by going to www.cyclones.com then go to Schedules, and then click on Football.  That is three clicks, and I doubt your going to get carpal tunnel from three mouse clicks.  No I don’t know what the weather is going to be like, or what they are going to be serving for the pregame meal, or what color of Iowa State headgear goes best with your summer complexion.  CLICK.