If Missouri Football Were a Chick.

Missouri looks like a Southern Belle with a Southern drawl. However, Missouri isn’t Sexy Southern - she is Slutty Southern. Missouri is very appealing, borderline attractive. She has caught the eye of many a suitor, all of whom have been too afraid to commit to her long term. They just can’t decide if she is hot enough or able to put out long-term. Good news: She will let you look up her skirt, she is fun in bed, and she will let you do just about whatever you want, and probably more than once. Bad news: She lets all the other boys look up her skirt right in front of you, just to make sure you are good and jealous. She is never satisfied and it is only a matter of time before she makes a move from the suburbs to the next level and she won’t be taking you with her. She knows how to use and be used to get what she wants. Wherever she lands it is going to be on her back.

Iowa State Keys to the Game Against Missouri

This Saturday, Iowa State plays Missouri at Columbia, with a start time of 1:00 pm. The game will not be televised on network or cable television. Missouri is 2-3 and Iowa State walks into the road game at 3-2. It was really nice of Missouri to schedule their homecoming game against Iowa State just to ensure a larger than normal crowd. When scheduling a homecoming opponent, most schools choose a team they believe they can beat to keep the alums happy.

1. Missouri rush against Iowa State run defense: Iowa State keyed on the pass for much of the game against Baylor and gave up big yards against the run. ISU didn’t shut down the pass either, but our first mission will be to shut down the run against Missouri. Offensively, the Tigers are led by sophomore quarterback James Franklin and sophomore running back Henry Josey. Josey currently leads the Big 12 in rushing with 588 yards, while Franklin is averaging about 240 passing yards and two total TDs per game.

2. Missouri pass defense: Missouri hasn’t been as strong as advertised on defense. They are vulnerable to the pass, a strength of ISU. If ISU can keep the game close and contain the Missouri run from long bursts. ISU could prevail.

3. As the quarterback goes, so goes the game: This is the same thing I mentioned last week. I give the nod to Iowa State in this category. Missouri is playing a sophomore quarterback, and ISU is playing Steele Jantz with 3 impressive come from behind wins. That could and should make the difference in this game.

4. Turnovers: What is there to say in this category. Iowa State has coughed up the ball more than Garfield has coughed up hair balls. If the turnovers are close, ISU could win the game. If Iowa State continues the turnover trend, this game could get as ugly as an overweight drunk Missouri coed drinking Natty Lite.

Although I think we have a chance and this is a winnable game, Iowa State is on the road and road wins are difficult against good teams in the Big XII. Final Score: 27 - 17, Missouri wins.