Sports Talk with The Commissioner

Commissioner:  We have Jack, A.K.A “Super Fan” on the line from Brooklyn Park.
Jack: Commissioner, since Iowa State has started 3-0 for the second straight year.   What do you think are the odds that the Cyclones will go 12-0 in 2012? 

Commissioner:  Wrong! About      -500%.   I appreciate your confidence and hutzpah Super Fan, however, The Big XII ranks as one of the toughest football conferences in the county with 5 teams currently ranked in the top 20, and currently has 3 Heisman Trophy canidates.   However, after starting 3-0 last year, and reaching a bowl game.   A 3-0 start puts the Cyclones ahead of where I had them slated before the season started, and Iowa State may be on the way to another bowl game.   Next up: Texas Tech will prove to be a true measuring stick.  Win and I’ll be all a grin, lose and we’ll be in the booze.

Commissioner: We have Mike on the line from Johnston.  

Mike: Commissioner, how do you feel the Iowa State defense has played this year?

Commissioner:  Great question Magic Mike.  But, Wrong!   Iowa State’s defense is currently ranked 13^th nationally in the ESPN defensive rankings.   ISU has two outstanding linebackers and secondary that has shown some impressive ability.   However, the untold secret to the Cyclone’s defense is the play of Kirby Van Der Kamp the ISU punter.   So far this season, 13 of Van Der Kamp’s punts have landed inside the 20-yard line.  A 59 yard punt in the second quarter against Western Illinois was Van Der Kamp’s long on the year.  The guy has 19 punts this season. Not a single one of them has been returned by an opponent.  That’s enough to get even a lesbian tailgater excited to give Van Der Kamp a pedicure.

Commissioner: We have Terri on the line from Ames.

Terri: Commissioner, did you see that the Iowa State Women’s Volleyball team upset the Number 1 ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers volleyball team?

Commissioner: Buffering….Buffering….Wrong, Wrong, Wrong…We must have a poor connection, or perhaps a loose ponytail band.   The Commissioner only enjoys watching volleyball every four years, and only if it is held on a beach by females in very skimpy outfits.   I was glad I caught the score on the Twitter, however I admit it did give me a warm fuzzy only because it was Nebraska.   As for volleyball I get just about as excited as I have while watching that homosexual volleyball scene in Top Gun.  There is 3 minutes and 21 seconds of my life that I could have been watching football.  Out.