If Missouri Football Were a Chick.

Missouri looks like a Southern Belle with a Southern drawl. However, Missouri isn’t Sexy Southern - she is Slutty Southern. Missouri is very appealing, borderline attractive. She has caught the eye of many a suitor, all of whom have been too afraid to commit to her long term. They just can’t decide if she is hot enough or able to put out long-term. Good news: She will let you look up her skirt, she is fun in bed, and she will let you do just about whatever you want, and probably more than once. Bad news: She lets all the other boys look up her skirt right in front of you, just to make sure you are good and jealous. She is never satisfied and it is only a matter of time before she makes a move from the suburbs to the next level and she won’t be taking you with her. She knows how to use and be used to get what she wants. Wherever she lands it is going to be on her back.

Iowa State Keys to the Game Against Missouri

This Saturday, Iowa State plays Missouri at Columbia, with a start time of 1:00 pm. The game will not be televised on network or cable television. Missouri is 2-3 and Iowa State walks into the road game at 3-2. It was really nice of Missouri to schedule their homecoming game against Iowa State just to ensure a larger than normal crowd. When scheduling a homecoming opponent, most schools choose a team they believe they can beat to keep the alums happy.

1. Missouri rush against Iowa State run defense: Iowa State keyed on the pass for much of the game against Baylor and gave up big yards against the run. ISU didn’t shut down the pass either, but our first mission will be to shut down the run against Missouri. Offensively, the Tigers are led by sophomore quarterback James Franklin and sophomore running back Henry Josey. Josey currently leads the Big 12 in rushing with 588 yards, while Franklin is averaging about 240 passing yards and two total TDs per game.

2. Missouri pass defense: Missouri hasn’t been as strong as advertised on defense. They are vulnerable to the pass, a strength of ISU. If ISU can keep the game close and contain the Missouri run from long bursts. ISU could prevail.

3. As the quarterback goes, so goes the game: This is the same thing I mentioned last week. I give the nod to Iowa State in this category. Missouri is playing a sophomore quarterback, and ISU is playing Steele Jantz with 3 impressive come from behind wins. That could and should make the difference in this game.

4. Turnovers: What is there to say in this category. Iowa State has coughed up the ball more than Garfield has coughed up hair balls. If the turnovers are close, ISU could win the game. If Iowa State continues the turnover trend, this game could get as ugly as an overweight drunk Missouri coed drinking Natty Lite.

Although I think we have a chance and this is a winnable game, Iowa State is on the road and road wins are difficult against good teams in the Big XII. Final Score: 27 - 17, Missouri wins.

Do you prefer Stiffler's Mom or Nadia?

Texas A&M :

Stiffler's Mom is to Texas A&M

Mascot: Collie Name: Aggies (refers to Ag School or Land Grant institution)

Located in College Station, TX - Public

Enrollment: 46,442 Spring 2011

Stadium: 82,600

Texas A&M Football the football team has won 18 Southwest Conference championships, 3 Big 12 South Division championships, 1 Big 12 championship, and 1 national championship. The team has appeared in 30 bowl games, winning 13, and has produced 41 first Team All-Americans, 5 Academic All-Americans, and 1 Heisman Trophy winner, John David Crow in 1957. Twenty-one Aggies currently play in the NFL.

As TCU is to Nadia from American Pie

Texas Christian University: TCU

Mascot: Horned Frogs

Located in Fort Worth, TX

Founded: 1873 - Private
Enrollment:9,142

Stadium: 44,358

The Horned Frogs have won two national championships, one in 1935 and the other in 1938 Additionally, the team has captured fourteen conference championships. Many notable football players have played for TCU, including Sammy Baugh, Davey O'Brien, Jim Swink, Bob Lilly, and LaDainian Tomlinson.  Under Coach Gary Patterson, the Horned Frogs have owned the No. 1 ranked defense in the country five times (2000, 2002, 2008, 2009, 2010), the most top defenses by any team since the NCAA began keeping records in 1937.  TCU finished the 2010 season as the consensus No. 2 ranked team in the nation after beating the Wisconsin Badgers in the 2011 Rose Bowl.  

Personally, I would like to party with both.   But, since A&M has decided to move to the SEC, I'm willing to try a sleeker and more slender model.  TCU is up and coming.   She doesn't have the tradition or the following, but her figure has filled out and she does look good in a dinner gown.   We'll see if she brings enough to bring stability to the Big XII Family.

The Big XII is Tough, You Say

The Big XII Conference has seven football teams with schedules among the top eight in difficulty, according to NCAA.org, which compiles the won-loss totals of past and upcoming opponents for all 240 Division I programs.

Kansas has the nation’s toughest schedule, based on an opponent winning percentage of 82.2. The Iowa State Cyclones (80 percent) are second, followed by Texas A&M (78.7) and Oklahoma (76.1). Oklahoma State (74.5) is sixth, and Texas and Missouri are tied for seventh at 73.9.

Big 12 teams combined for a 27-3 record against nonconference foes. Two losses were on the road and another at a neutral site.

Baylor Keys to the Game.

If Baylor were a chick:





Baylor: is a Jesus Freak with a major ‘tude that occasionally comes off as a little wacko. She is not afraid to stand up to any Goliath and speak her mind. The Law and The Lord or the two edge of her steely sword. Good news: she will be accommodating at first and eager to please, but less so with each passing year. Baylor doesn’t expect shinny objects as gifts, maybe the occasional crucifix on a holy day, she just wants to be loved Bad news is: she is bound to stand up at a PTA, Church Board, or Booster Club meeting and say stuff that makes you blush, but not in a good way. And then expect her, for the rest of your life, to start every conversation, you ever have with, “Bob and Helen from Church….”

Iowa State versus Baylor Keys to the Game:

This one doesn’t look good. I am actually more concerned about Baylor than I was Texas. Having Texas at home backed by a record setting crowd, actually had an appealing ring to it. Now Iowa State has to travel to Waco Texas to take on the Baylor Bears who are also 3-1 and coming off a last minute loss to Kansas State in Manhattan, KS. The Bears could be gearing up for a statement game much like Texas.

Keys to the game:

1. Battle of the quarterbacks. Whichever school has a better outing from their quarterback will win the game. ISU has Steele Jantz a Junior College transfer that has played well from behind except for during the game last week against Texas. Baylor has a Heisman Trophy Candidate Robert Griffin III, playing quarterback. RGIII is harder to contain than a bead of mercury on a greasy table top. Last week against K-State RGIII threw for 346 yards and 5 touchdowns on the road. RGIII has thrown 18 touchdowns for an average of 4.5 a game, and only 1 interception. Iowa State Quarterback Steele Jantz went 28-51 for 251 yards, against Texas. On the year Jantz has 7 touchdowns and 7 interceptions. Clear Victory: Baylor

2. Turnovers and Special Teams. Unfortunately turnovers and Special Teams always seem to be in the same sentence for Iowa State. Iowa State has been extremely susceptible to turning over the ball. If Iowa State turns over the ball more than once, consider this game another tough one to watch. Big Edge: Baylor

3. Whoever gets out of the blocks the quickest will set the pace and win. Star quarterback from Baylor Robert Griffin III tried out for the Olympic track team as a 17 old. I think that means he is really fast. If Baylor gets out of the blocks early and ISU has to play from behind like they have all year it will be a very difficult task to catch Baylor on the back stretch. Major Edge: Baylor




Commissioner’s pick Baylor 42-17, game time 6 pm Central

Time


Rankings:
Baylor: Passing yards 351, 8th, Iowa State: 239 yards, 54th


Baylor: Rushing yards 201, 28th


Iowa State: 141, 67th


Baylor: Points for 47.1, 4th, Iowa State: 25.5, 82nd


Baylor: Points against 28.8, 84th, Iowa State: 29.3 85th

Just When We Thought the Dust Had Settled.

Missouri Could Be Jumping Ship

The Missouri board of curators has voted unanimously to give Chancellor Brady Deaton the authority to explore other options for the Missouri Tigers conference realignment. In layman's terms, the SEC option is now in play.  If that wasn't telling enough, Deaton announced his resignation as the Chair of the Big XII's Board of Directors soon after the meeting.

SS Missouri

This doesn't mean Missouri has left the Big XII.   Perhaps, they are posturing.   But, if I were a betting man I would say Missouri has a back door commitment from the SEC.   This allows the SEC to expand in to the Missouri (St. Louis and Kansas City) markets and possibly into Kansas.   That means more TV's and a larger regional coverage for the SEC.   Missouri is more Southern than it is Midwest anyway.   That doesn't rule out the Big Ten, but I think it less likely.   The Big Ten didn't tip their hand last year, when Missouri pulled up their dress and proudly displayed their black and gold panties.

Big 12 agrees to revenue-sharing proposal

Big 12 agrees to revenue-sharing proposal

The plan calls for the conference to equally distribute all revenue from its network and cable television football contracts — known as Tier I and Tier II, along with men’s basketball and NCAA Tournament television revenue.

The sharing would take effect this year if each school agrees to a six-year grant of its Tier I and II rights. Essentially, a school surrenders that income to the conference for that amount of time.

The schools are in the process of exploring that provision through their boards, but the vote to accept the proposal among presidents was unanimous.

The Big 12’s five-member expansion committee has been reactivated and that the conference has been encouraged by the amount of schools that have shown interest in the league, although Neinas wouldn’t be specific.  

This doesn't mean Missouri has moved from the street corner to the bed of the Big XII just yet.   But, this should be the first step in smoking out, Missouri to see where they stand or lie for that matter.

What Happened This Weekend?

Show Me, No Show You The Money - Texas !!!

Texas      Iowa St

1st Downs                   19           26

3rd down efficiency      4-14       4-15

4th down efficiency      0-1         1-5

Total Yards                 400         380

Passing                        255        251

Comp-Att                   14-24     28-51

Yards per pass            10.6       4.9

Rushing                       145        129

Rushing Attempts        40          38

Yards per rush            3.6         3.4

Penalties                     10-74     8-90

Turnovers                  0           3

Fumbles lost                0           2

Interceptions thrown    0           1

Possession                  30:41     29:19

Iowa State Suffered a significant loss this weekend.   3 Turnovers in the first quarter, a blocked punt resulting in a touchdown, and 34-0 at halftime is a difficult valley to traverse.  There were plenty of people that were complaining about the referees.   I personally do not like to blame the refereeing.   But, there were definitely two calls made the nullified touchdowns and two more calls when Iowa State was deep in Texas territory and one call when Iowa State had Texas stopped that gave them a new set of downs.   The following play resulted in a 40 yard touchdown.   I have heard numerous people complain that the game was not called evenly - including the Iowa State Radio announcers.   Personally, I believe we could have overcome the refs if we had not turned over the ball 3 times in the first quarter.   If you turnover the ball 3 times in a game you will often have a long hill to climb.  But, three in the first quarter almost ensures defeat.  

Let's talk positives. The weather was great and the stadium was packed for the third time this year.  That was one of the loudest ISU games I've been to.  During the kickoff I could not hear the canon, and two minutes later started to smell the gun powder. ISU played Texas very close other than the 3 Turnovers and blocked punt.   So, I contend ISU is still a good team, not a great team.   But, if we can fix the Turnovers we should be able to play with most of the team in the Big XII this year.   Our Sophomore running back tandem of James White and Shontrelle Johnson are starting to look very good with some nice runs throughout the game.  ISU showed some good movement on offense when they went to the no huddle offense.   I would expect to see us run more no huddle in the future.   Unfortunately, I think ISU is better than we played on Saturday, but you only get one shot to prove it. 

All the Whos down in Whoville are wondering what happened.   Nebraska went in to Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, WI to face the Wisconsin Badgers for the first time as a new member of the Big Ten.  Final Score:  Wisconsin 48 and Nebraska 17.  

My favorite quote of the day comes to us from Chris Meyer.  Commissioner, "What's up Chris?" Chris, "Taxes."

And finally the Commissioner and his daughter Julia were highlighted in the Des Moines Register in the tailgaters section.  


Final picture: more future tailgaters from the our tailgate group.